Author Note: I bet people are wondering why I have taken such a long gap of writing lately! I had promised to be active more however between thesis, motherhood and work it hasnt worked out that way.
Additionally, I am at a point I think each writer is at ... am I really cut out for this route? I always question myself and compare to other writers. Yet I am learning that I should definitely need to stop that. My writing is great but I also need to have that confidence and put myself out there. So for anyone struggling out there! Just know you got this and NaNoWriMo is just a month away!!!!!!
Happy Writings!
Happy Writings!
*
Kinks
Mami always said “Donde
hay hambre, no hay pan duro”.
As a young child it flew over my head what she was trying to explain.
However, it didn’t make sense to me until I stood in front of the mirror. Tears
brimmed my brown eyes and my nose was a bright red from irritation. Clumps of
blonde frizzled hair were in the sink and blood stained my scalp.
Nothing ever made sense to me.
*
Green
Desire and envy tend to meld into one in a moment that boiled over. Girls
of yellow hair and blue eyes were perfection. Straight hair that embody
Beyonce’s ‘I Woke Up Like This’ and thin frames the boys anticipated. I desired,
those attributes yet I was given full wide hips and brown everything. Brown
skin, brown hair, brown eyes, brown, brown, and more brown.
Puberty unfortunately destroyed my dreams when my hair curled at the
sight of water and my body evolved. Swans could buy their jeans and cute flowy
tops at boutiques while the need for a shirt to cover my ample chest was
sparse. They flaunted down the hall in colors while I stood back draped in black.
How dare they paraded their gifts of beauty in my face. They flashed
their peach color skin from their time at the beach in itty bitty bikinis. Morena.
That was the nickname I received after coming back from Punta Cana. It
chortled from Papi’s tongue and Alexis giggles while I glared. It was
affectionate pero no quiero. However, it was still better than my actual
name, Aruna. Similar to my Mami is trying to ruin my life with all these no and
stop trying to be someone I am not. Pero Mami no quiero.
Unfortunately Papi promotion ten years ago allowed us to leave Florida
and move here to Beverly Hills. It was a constant reminder that I did not
belong here, and my features regrettably pointed that out to everyone around
me.
I begged daily for something that would make me lighter, or as Alexis
said Whiter. I ignored Alexis and Mami digas no. So I had to
accept my skin while I watched the swans praise us with their presences.
So I avoided the sun when I could and when I couldn’t I spent hours
scrubbing my skin after the beach. Months of allowance allowed me to buy a
straightener from the beauty supply store with Hannah and Betty. Their parents
paid for copious amounts of blow outs at the suave hair salon so they didn’t
understand my need to hide it from my mother.
