Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Story Excerpt: Reunions Chapter ???

 First sorry for the delays with the story excerpts but I have so many projects, work and school that I am trying to juggle. However I decided to post a story excerpt of something I've written about ten years ago and compare it to the revamp edition of 2016

This story started off as one thing and just flowed on. While I was going over the document I noticed that at some point I just wrote scenes. These scenes had no place within the story but were probably ideas that I wanted to put somewhere

Check it out!
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Original (Unedited)
Circa 2006

 “New York? Mike I thought we were going to Charleston?! We are going to get in so much trouble with our parents ” Manny screamed stepping off the bus. “Manny, shh calm down” Mike said holding in the laughter. She was so like Jenny but different. “Ugh fine who are we looking for?” Manny said and shook her head. “Nicholas Daniels” Mike said and pointed to the school.

“I knew that Greyhound bus was evil” Manny joked and they laughed together. The bell rung and kids piled out of school till one caught Mike’s eyes. A beat up kid dressed in black passing them. “Nick” Mike whispers. Nick turns to Mike and Manny, attitude present and fist curled. “What!” Nick barked. “Nothing” Mike said. “What no, if we are going to die I rather it be for something” Manny said with a smirk.

“Um hey Nick, I’m Manny this is Mike” Manny said. “And Blondie?” Nick said looking at the girl. “Back of Goth Vader, we came to help you okay” Manny said. Mike smiles at the girl and notices the difference from the old Manny and now, she was more relaxed and out there. “Okay calm down” Nick said and raised his arms back.

Mike saw a glimmer of old Nick for a second till the cut on his lip and the black eye zoned out on him. “Some guys giving you trouble at school” Mike said.  “Uh … yeah look nice to meet Barbie and Ken but I need to go okay, see ya” Nick said and started to walk away. “Were going to follow him aren’t we” Manny said watching Nick. “Oh yeah” Mike said. 

Rewritten
Circa 2016 

They stepped off the bus and Manny glanced around the area to realize they were far from their home. The large skyscrapers loomed over her head and the loud traffic blared in her ears.

“Mike!” Her voice was sharp and she turned on her heel to face the boy who was smiling at everything.

 “New York? Mike I thought we were going to Charleston?! We are going to get in so much trouble with our parents! “Manny screamed.

“Manny please don’t worry I will take most of the blame with our parents” Michael retorted and held in his laughter. Manny was just like Jenny but yet still had her own aura around her.

“Who are we looking for again?” She asked and shook her head in frustration.

“Nicolas Daniels.” He pointed to a large school across the street and beckoned her to follow.

They crossed the street when the bell rang and the doors flew opened.  Students began to swarm out in packs and fill up the concrete yard that was surrounded by a chain linked fence.

“I knew that Greyhound bus was evil” Manny joked and they laughed together as Michael looked around. His eyes landed on a brunette dressed all in black and covering a fresh black eye with his hand. The brunette shoved through the crowds of cliques to the sidewalk.

“Nick” Michael whispered and followed the boy until they reached the corner of the block.

“What?” Nick barked and curled his fist into a ball while glaring at the two staring at him.

“Nothing” Michael stuttered and took a step back from Nick. Manny shook her head before taking a step closer and sticking her hand out to Nick.

“If we are going to die might as well be worth it. Hi my name is Manny and this Mike” Manny said and waved her hand in Nick’s face and he moved back.

“And Blondie?” He retorted and rolled his eyes ate her.

“Relax Goth Vader we are here to help you …. I think” Manny said rolling her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.  Michael let out a small laugh and realized how different Manny was and how much she reminded him of how Jenny used to be.

“Damn relax my bad” Nick said and raised his arms back in defense with a slight smirk.

Michael saw a glimpse of his old best friend but he was brought out of his memory when the cut on Nick’s lip began to bleed again. He took another look at his eye and noticed the puffiness beginning to turn a grossly blue color.  

“Nick … is someone bothering you? I mean here at school or ….?”

“Look it was great chatting with you Barbie and Ken but I need to go so yeah, Bye!” Nick said and shoved off from the two.

“Were going to follow him aren’t we Mike?” Manny groaned and watched Nick cross the street as cars blared by.  

Michael watched the path that nick was taking and nodded his head.

 “Oh yeah”

Monday, May 16, 2016

Book Review: Brain Freeze Journal by Potter


Brain Freeze by Potter

Rating: 4/5 Stars 

This journal is smaller than your average journal, but it is perfect for carrying around in your book-bag or purse. Its smaller than your average A4 journal, but what is unique about this journal its texture and lack of a firm spine. Thanks to the lack of spine the book lays flat open making it easier for writers to inscribe their thoughts. What is also interesting about this journal is that the pages have lines, a chunk of space and then more lines. Although others may appreciate it, I did not and that is one of the reasons stopping this journal from being a 5. Another reason it was not a 5 was that I felt the journal was too small, although convenient it was too small for my type of writing. 

Recommended for writers, ice cream lovers and anyone who likes to jot down some notes.


 

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